How could I forget, when you keep reminding me?
And every night I gave in,
and every night, I die.
And every time you hold me hand,
I'll feel bliss inside.
Over and over you make me fall for you,
over and over again you don't even try.
You have an effect over me that is indescribable.
And I am very afraid of just what it will do to me.
And even as I bleed, it does not hurt.
But I realize that I do not want to die,
It does not take too long for me to feel warm arms lift me up and hold me,
and I can hear the anguished moan.
But I did not calm down, because panic laces through me.
I start to thrash and fight against the hold,
yet it does not budge and once again, I am in pain.
And when I still didn't calm down,
lips crash onto my own and my eyes are now wide open.
And I shatter into millions of little pieces, because it is you.
It hurts more than the knowledge of you never truly wanting me,
even when I had you, I only wanted more.
Even when you gave me everything I wanted,
except for love, I wanted more.
I wanted the things I knew you couldn’t give.
And now you’re offering me a chance,
and I’m pushing you away but still clinging tightly to you.
I realize,
I can’t let you go, I’ll never let you go.
Do you know how much it hurts to suppress that flicker of hope?
It hurts beyond all reasons to have you watching my every step,
learning every habit of mine,
lifting me up when I stumble and balancing me when I sway.
And you’ve never let me fall even if I feel like I’m falling.
The soft touches leave me whimpering and all you do is grin,
like it was a joke.
When your lips are on mine,
I feel the tears start to trek their way down my cheeks.
And every time I break,
you’re there to pick-up the pieces and tie them back together.
It’s a wonderful feeling and I’ve gotten used to it.
You admitted to loving me, but I know you’ll only leave me again.
“So you love me?” I ask and look up at you, smiling softly.
“Yes, I love you.” You replied and I can't help but smile as the relief floods over me.
“Will you ever leave me?”
“If I said I would never leave you, I'd be lying.”
How can you rip me apart with just one sentence,
“But know this, I'll never leave you willingly.”
and piece me back up the next?
Even if I know someday you are going to leave me,
I'm still not isolating myself from you.
I'm still not pushing you back,
but pulling you in giving all my trust into your hands.
Someday you will die,
or maybe I will die first,
but the future is too uncertain.
We shouldn't worry about such trivial things.
Because we are together now, and I trust in tomorrow.
I trust my tomorrow into your hands.
hisVALEN ♥''
Please, don't leave
- shotted
